


Dead, Goth, and Beyond

by MidnaRose



Category: Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator
Genre: Damien Bloodmarch/Reader - Freeform, Death, Depression, Heavy Drinking, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Sadness, Self-Doubt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-06
Updated: 2017-09-09
Packaged: 2018-12-24 13:57:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12014211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MidnaRose/pseuds/MidnaRose
Summary: So this is from the perspective of my Dadsona specifically, but you can change the name and stuff to your liking. I decided I wanted to practice writing grief and other things. I'm also kinda vent writing, as I've felt really ... bleh lately. While I don't feel as upset as Dadsona does, I'm just venting and practicing my description of grief and angst and other things.





	1. The Call That Made My World Come Crashing Down

**Author's Note:**

> So this is from the perspective of my Dadsona specifically, but you can change the name and stuff to your liking. I decided I wanted to practice writing grief and other things. I'm also kinda vent writing, as I've felt really ... bleh lately. While I don't feel as upset as Dadsona does, I'm just venting and practicing my description of grief and angst and other things.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You never knew your world could come crashing down in such a way as this. The hospilization of the man you loved: Damien Bloodmarch. And the decision on whether or not to keep him on his life support tore you apart.

I hummed happily to myself as I put my mug in the microwave and set the timer, opening up a chamomile tea packet. Chamomile was my favorite tea. Perhaps that was my husband Damien's influence. After we got married, Amanda and I moved in across the street into his house and his influence grew even more on me. I just knew I couldn't wait for him to come home tonight. The beep of the microwave startled me out of my thoughts and told me that my water had heated up. I took the mug out and out the tea bag in it, letting it sit for a few minutes.

Did I dare take a sip of hot tea? Idiotically, yes. The roof of my mouth burned and so did my tongue, and I fanned my mouth vigorously. When the house phone rang I jumped, startled by the noise in the quiet Victorian home. I reached for the phone and held it to my ear. "Hello?" I asked, waiting for an answer. "Hello, is this Mr. Sammy Bloodmarch?" a woman said. I wasn't used to being called by my new / second last name. "Yes, this is he." I said, biting my lip. I was always awkward on the phone. "This is the Maple Bay hospital." the woman said. I felt my blood run cold. Why was the hospital calling? What was wrong? "Your husband Damien Bloodmarch is in the ER. We need you to come down and make a few decisions regarding his health. Please come quickly," the woman said. I felt my hand tighten around the phone and my teeth bite at my lip, and tears well in my eyes. "I'll be their shortly..." I said, my voice quavering. "Thank you, goodbye." the woman said, hanging up.

I couldn't help but stand for a moment, the phone still held to my ear, my eyes staring off into nothingness. All I heard for a moment was the beep of the phone, signalling that the other end had hung up. What was wrong with Damien? How did my husband end up in the ER? Decisions in regards to his health? I shook myself from my thoughts and hung the phone up, running upstairs and knocking on Amanda's door and opening it. 

"Amanda, it's an emergency, I need you to get Lucien and be in the car in five minutes tops." I said, looking at her with a shaken expression. "Dad, is everything okay? What happened?" Amanda asked, walking over to me and placing a hand on my shoulder. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. "It's Damien. He's in the ER." I said, my voice shakey. Amanda felt a wave of shock over her body. She left her room and got Lucien quickly, heading down the stairs with me to the car. We piled in and drove to the hospital as quickly as we could. We rode in shaken worried silence.

 

* * *

 

 

I quickly pulled the car into a spot and we all got out quickly, making our way into the ER lobby. "How may I help you?" A woman behind a counter asked. "Can we see Damien Bloodmarch? I'm his husband, this is our daughter Amanda and our son Lucien." I said, frantic. The woman nodded and tapped a few things into her computer and handed us visitor stickers. "Room 48 B." she said. I nodded and walked off, my anxiety and worry building up. What would I see when I walked into his room? Would he be on life support? Or was he okay? I truly hoped it was the latter of the two. 

When we made it to the room I stopped. "Dad?" Amanda asked, taking my hand. I let out a breath. "I'm scared that I'll see the worst..." I admitted, feeling tears welling up again. I swallowed and blinked them away. Amanda squeezed my hand. "Dad, whatever we see, we'll be here for you, okay?" she said. I looked down at her. She pulled me into a hug. I could feel Lucien's hand on my back. We pulled apart and I took in a breath and stepped into the room, the doctors noticing me right away. "Sammy Bloodmarch?" one asked. I nodded. "I'm glad you're here. We need you to decide on what to do in regards to his health, but if you'd like to see him first, he's just around the curtain." the doctor said. 

I nodded, looking at the curtain that separated me from my husband. Amanda and Lucien from their dad. When I approached and pulled back the curtain, the curtain felt heavy. It was as though the curtain didn't want me to see what it had hidden behind it. But I had to see the man I loved. When I saw Damien, I straightened up, tears welling in my eyes, hand making its way to my mouth to stifle a sob. The hand that pushed the curtain open remained their, until it also made its way to my mouth. Tears blurred my vision and streaked my cheeks.

Damien was on life support. The machine that kept him alive hummed a tune I didn't want to listen to. Damien's usually smooth hair was tangled and didn't fall past his shoulders in the gorgeous way it usually did. His head lay limpy to the side, a tube to help him breath down his throat. His eyes were shut. How I longed to see those dark colored eyes one more time. An IV ran from his hand, and another tube ran from his arm that had blood flowing through it into his body. My eyes followed it up to a bag filled with blood. 

I closed my eyes and bent my back into my hands, my shoulders shaking with each sob that washed over my body. I felt hands on my back but didn't dare open my eyes. I couldn't bare to look at Damien again. After crying for a good five minutes, I opened my eyes and looked to the doctor. "I need to know. Will he make it?" I asked, my voice cracking and shaking. Tears still streamed down my cheeks. I never thought I would hear what I heard next.

The doctor took in a breath and looked at my sympathetically. "Their's a slim chance he will, but it's a very small chance. He has a higher risk of death then survival. It's up to you to tell us whether you'd rather keep him on life support to try and increase that chance of him living, but with the cost of his painful suffering. Or you can decide to turn the machine off and let him be in a better place. The choice is yours, Sammy, but we won't pressure you into answering us right away. We'll give the three of you some time alone with him." the doctor said, making his way out of the room with everyone else.

That left the three of us alone with him. I pulled a chair close to his bed and held Damien's hand. It was colder then it was warm, but I couldn't bear to look at Damien. Instead I looked to Amanda and Lucien. Amanda was sitting in a chair far away from Damien. Her head was in her hands and her shoulders were shaking. I couldn't imagine how she felt. Losing Alex was hard enough on her. Losing another dad had to be so hard. 

When I looked at Lucien, his eyes met mine and he approached. When he got close, he avoided my gaze and I saw his lip quaver. I pulled him into my embrace, and he wrapped his arms around me, burying his face in my shoulder. He whimpered and his body shook and he held onto me like I would slip out of his grasp and he would lose me forever. I stroked his hair and rubbed his back until he looked up at me, eyeliner running down his face. "What are we gonna do? I don't know what I'm gonna do without dad, and I don't know how to cope ... if we let him go, you and Amanda are all I have left! I love dad so much ... and losing him is losing so much of myself..." Lucien rambled, saying each sentence between breathy loud sobs. 

I cupped his face in my hands and shushed him, wiping his eyeliner and tears from his face. He gave me a desperate look and bit his lip, small sobs still shaking his body. His hands held my wrists, but in a gentle way. I gently pulled him back into my embrace, and rubbed his back, wanting to shelter him from the cruelty of the world. He squeezed his arms around me and held onto me tightly. "I'm not sure what we'll do, but we'll figure it out. Whether or not to let him go, what to do with his things, if he left a will. Everything. I promise, Lucien. And I'll do anything to make you happy again. I hate seeing you like this. I love you, Lucien, I really do. If we let Damien go, I'll always be your dad. Amanda will always be your sister. That will never change." I said, kissing Lucien's forehead lovingly.

I really did love Lucien. Everything I said was sincere. He's been such a positive influence in my life, even if he could be a jerk sometimes. I hate seeing my son like this. I truly do. I felt his tight embrace become a bit tighter. "D-dad?" Lucien stuttered, looking up at me. Our eyes met. "I ... I love you too... and I'll support you no matter what you decide to do on the topic of his life support..." he said, tears still streaking his cheeks. Tears welled in my eyes. He really was like his father in so many ways. Tears flowed freely down my face.

Making this decision would be the hardest thing I will ever have to do. I know letting him go will hurt so many people, but keeping him on life support will make the love of my life suffer. Lucien's hold on me loosened, but he didn't let go just yet. It was my turn to cry. Lucien held me protectively and sniffled as he rested his chin on my shoulder, my head buried in his. 

After the three of us shed all the tears we could, the doctors made their way back in the room. They looked to me, knowing I had questions. "Before I make my decision, how did this even happen? How did my husband end up here? Why is he so badly hurt? Why did it have to be him...?" my voice trailed off at the last question and I looked down at the floor. One doctor gave it to me straight.

"Car accident." he said, placing a hand on my shoulder. I clenched my jaw and felt more tears well up in my eyes. I didn't even know I had any left. That's the way Alex died. By car accident. "He was probably making his way home when someone slammed into him and sent his car into rolling off the free way and not stopping until he hit the guard rail on the side of the freeway." 

I swallowed. I felt two hands hold both of mine, and looked to see Amanda on my left, Lucien on my right. I squeezed their hands gently. I took a breath. "I'm going to need more time to process everything and think on my decision. Please..." I said in a nearly begging tone. The doctors all nodded, turned, and left, leaving the three of us alone with Damien. 

It was time to think, long and hard, on the decision I had to make.

 

 

\- To be continued


	2. Decisions to Make and Hearts to Break

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The decision Sammy has to make is one of the biggest things Sammy will ever have to make. Letting Damien go means hurting those he loves, but keeping him alive means he suffers. What will Sammy decide?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm supposed to be doing English homework but I decided to listen to sad music and write another chapter of this story

I paced around the hospital room, biting my lip and hunching my shoulders. I didn't want to let Damien go. Nobody wanted him to die. But I didn't want him to suffer. At the same time, however, I didn't want my kids and everyone who loved him to suffer with the grief. I let out a hasty sigh and flopped down into a chair, putting my head in my hands and running my fingers through my hair. 

"Why does it have to be up to me?" I asked myself, biting my lip. I sighed again and left my head in my hands. I felt tears roll down my cheeks. I didn't even know that they had welled up in the first place. Sounds of footsteps walking over to me made me look up. Lucien sat down next to me and put an arm around me and pulled me close, putting his head on my shoulder. 

"You don't have to do this alone, Dad." Lucien said as I rest my head on top of his. Amanda walked over and sat on the opposite side of me. She laced her fingers with mine. "Yeah, Lucien is right Dad. You can talk to us. We want to help." she said, leaning against me. She gave my hand a squeeze. I let out another sigh. It seems I've been doing that a lot lately. I took a moment to think before I spoke. 

"If we keep him alive, he suffers. He's probably in so much pain as he fights for his life. Do I really want to make him go through that? But at the same time ... do I really want to make everyone else suffer through grief?" I said, raising my head off of Lucien's and wiping the tears from my cheeks. Lucien was the first to speak after a long pause. 

"I honestly can't believe I'm saying this but I would rather see Dad in a better place than suffering with pain and the fight for life. " he said. His words echoed in my head. I couldn't help but feel lost. If their was a chance he could survive, I wanted to keep his life support on. I wanted to see his beautiful smile again. I wanted to run my fingers through his hair. I wanted to just hold him again like I always did when we settled down for the evening on the couch. I would take in his sweet scent and he would rest his head on my shoulder, my arm around him. We would usually doze off like that and wake up later and go to bed.

More tears streaked my cheeks. If I let Damien go, I would miss that so much. My shoulders shook lightly with the small sobs that left my body. I felt another hand hold my free hand and squeeze. I looked over to Lucien who gave me a look of concern, as if to ask if I was okay. He knew I wasn't, but I knew he and Amanda weren't either. 

The longer I weighed my options, they both had their pros and cons. "Dad..." Amanda said, her voice pulling me from my thoughts. "I agree with Lucien. In all honesty, he should be in a better place. I'm sure if he had to make the decision himself, he would say to turn off the life support and let his life slip away. He would say his goodbyes to us and accept his death. I want what's best for him. I think we should let him go," she said, her voice cracking as tears streaked her cheeks. I cupped her face and wiped them away.

I looked at her with a look that said I agreed, but at the same time I didn't. But then I remembered what he told me in the graveyard. We die and life moves on without us. And he was willing to accept that. He wasn't afraid to die. 

But the slightest chance I could see him smile and be healthy again. 

"I wish their was an option in between..." I said, looking to Lucien and Amanda. "We do too, Dad, but their isn't one." Lucien said, placing a gentle hand on my shoulder. 

After hearing that, the decision was made. I called the doctors in and hesitated. "Do you have a decision made?" the doctor asked, looking at me. I nodded slowly. 

I took a deep breath. I could feel my heart racing. Sweat rolled down my forehead. "I think it's best... " I began, taking in another shakey breath, tears in my eyes. "that we let him go..." I finished, stifling a sob with my hand. "I hate to hurt everyone who knows and loves him, but I can't stand to see him suffer. And I feel like this is what he would have wanted to. If he had to make the decision himself, he wouldn't want to suffer and would accept that he dies and life moves on without him... and everyone else is going to have to accept that as well..." I said, wiping the tears from my face. 

The doctor nodded. "You can spend a few more minutes with him. I'm sure he can probably hear you at least, so please, say to him what you can. I'll be back in a few minutes." the doctor said, turning to leave. I wanted to stop him and ask him something, but I wasn't sure what, so I watched as he left. I turned and faced Damien. 

I made my way over to the side of his bed and cupped his cheek with one hand, and held his hand with the other. "Damien, it's me, Sammy..." I choked those words out. Between small sobs I said: "I love you so much. I'm going to miss you, but I know that this is what you would want... I love you so much... The first kiss we shared in that animal shelter, the dates we went on after that, the day you proposed , our wedding day... I won't ever forget what we shared..." My small sobs had grown louder and larger, and it was so hard for me to get any words out. I slowly began to feel more sorrow than I had ever felt. Losing Alex was hard, but I didn't have to make a choice with him. He was killed instantly. Their was nothing I could do about it. Knowing that the fate of Damien's life rested squarely on my shoulders. 

The sorrow of the choice I made sent waves of sobs across my body as I stood over Damien. I kissed him again and again, knowing I wouldn't be able to do it again. I smothered him in kisses, and gave him all the love I had for him. I forced myself to pull away from him and sit down, burying my face in my hands. Amanda and Lucien went over to their dad and did the same thing I did, holding him and kissing him and loving him, for they too knew they wouldn't be able to do it ever again.

I heard footsteps make their way into the room. I looked up at the doctor who held a certificate of death in his hand, his other hand empty. Probably the hand he would use to shut off Damien's machine. "It's time. You can look away if you have to." he said, putting a comforting hand on my shoulder. I shook my head. "No... I need to be able to face this..." I said, watching him make his way over to Damien's life support.

Part of me wanted to cry out in protest, but another part of me was too exhausted to do so. I watched as the doctor's fingers made their way over a few buttons, then I watched as Damien's breathing slow until it stopped, and his heart monitor flat lined. I cried out as a wave of deep sorrow overwhelmed me. He was really gone. Another pang of sorrow washed over me when I thought of how I had to tell the neighbors in the cul-de-sac and hurt them. My knees went weak and I fell to the ground, both of my hands clasped over my mouth. 

"Date of death: September 6, 201x; Time of death: 11:48 PM; Cause of death: Car accident" the doctor said, pronouncing Damien dead. My world crumbled down around me as I cried and cried. Damien was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys are okay with the path I chose. When writing this, I thought of how I would feel if I had to choose whether to let someone live or die. What would the consequences be either way, and what would the advantages and positive things of either choice? It's a lot to think about man :/
> 
> I was legitmately in tears writing the end of this chapter  
> I love Damien so much why am I such a horrible human being making my Dadsona take him off life support *sobs*  
> Find out how he tells the Cul-de-sac and how he begins to deal with his grief in the next chapter.


	3. Drinking Away Your Sorrows Won't Help, Trust Me, I Know.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert was the first person Sammy wanted to tell about Damien's death, but before he can speak, Robert says he wants to take Sammy out to drink.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time to learn how to write sorrow and drunkenness combined

After Damien's body had gone to be preserved and prepared for his funeral, we headed home in silence. I pulled the car into the driveway and sighed when I looked at the home I lived in. It's Victorian style made me want to cry, but I had to tell the cul-de-sac. But I did want to go inside first to set my things down at least. I shut the car off and stepped out, closing the door sullenly and making my way to the front door. For some reason I hesitated. I stared at the doorknob. Did I really want to open the door and face my sorrows?

I knew I had to so I forced myself to unlock the door and step inside, setting my keys down and taking a heavy sigh as I flopped down onto the couch. I leaned my head back and covered my face with my arm. Just sitting on this couch hurt. This is where Damien and I cuddled every evening and shared special moments. I bit my lip and felt a small sob shake my body. I didn't even know that I had teared up in the first place. 

I forced myself to wipe my tears and make my way out the front door to tell everyone that Damien had passed away. For some reason, the first door I wandered to was Robert's. I rang his doorbell and waited. I hoped he couldn't tell I had been crying, but I don't know why I hoped that. A moment passed before he came to his door. "Sammy!" he said, smiling at me. I looked at him wearily. "I wanted to ask, would you wanna go out to Jim and Kim's?" Robert asked, looking at me hopefully. I thought. I nodded, looking to him. He smiled. "Would you wanna go now?" he asked. Again, I nodded, offering Robert the happiest smile I could. It wasn't much.

We made our way over to his truck and got in, driving off quickly. When we stopped at a stoplight, Robert turned to me with a look of concern. "Sammy, are you alright? You're so quiet, and you just look so ... exhausted. Is everything okay?" he asked, his eyes meeting mine. I thought a moment. Breaking the news while he was driving might not be the best idea. "I'm just ... tired..."  I said, sighing. Robert didn't push the matter any further, but from the look on his face he didn't believe me. We drove in silence all the way to Jim and Kim's and got out when the car was parked. I walked in with Robert at my side and sat at the bar.

"Two whiskeys, please." Robert said to the bartender. The bartender nodded and poured two glasses. When they were set down, Robert slid one over to me. I took the drink in my hand and stopped. I remembered the one time Damien and I had gone on a date here. I stared into my glass of whiskey and sighed, setting it down. I could feel Robert's eyes one me. 

"Sammy, are you sure you're okay?" Robert said, placing a hand on my shoulder this time. I nodded again. "It's just a bit of stress. Nothing a couple drinks can't make me feel better about right?" I said, offering a smile. That smile I had to plaster on my face. "Well... alright then... Just ... if you need to talk about something, I'm right here, bud. You don't have to go through stress alone." Robert said, taking his hand off my shoulder and taking a sip of his whiskey.  _Why couldn't I just tell Robert? Why was I lying to him like this?_

I sighed and drank my whiskey quickly, putting my empty glass down on the bar counter. I honest to god believed that I could drink away my problems. "I'll take another round of whiskey," I said to the bartender. He smiled and nodded, pouring more in my glass. I downed that glass. Then took another glass, downed that one too. 

I couldn't handle any more whiskey and layed my head on the counter, empty glass in my hand. Robert looked at me and spoke in a caring but firm tone. "Okay, seriously Sammy. You never drink this much, even when you're upset. You have to tell me what's wrong. I'm not gonna believe it's just stress. Something is really wrong Sammy. You're not yourself, and if you want to go outside into the privacy of my car, then let's go. We can drive somewhere quiet and talk. I just can't stand seeing you like this Sammy." Robert said, putting a hand on my shoulder. I sighed and stood up, heading out the door. "I'll pay my tab tomorrow, is that okay? I really need to talk to him." Robert said to the bartender. A nod from him signaled he could leave and followed me out the door. 

We got into his car and sat. "Do you want to talk in here or go somewhere?" he asked, watching me. "I'd rather go somewhere..." I said, my voice trailing off. He nodded and turned the car on. I buckled up and we drove off, going to where he goes to think. Robert got out of the car and made his way to the back of the truck, sitting in the bed. I step out of the car and join him, letting out a long held in sigh. Robert waited and waited, but I just couldn't get the words out, let alone get my lips to move. Robert looked at me in concern. "Just... whenever you're ready okay?" he said.

I drew in a breath before I spoke. Their was no easy way to say it. "Their's no easy way to say what's going on right now..." I began, already feeling my throat close up as the tears welled in my eyes. I took in another shakey breath. I couldn't even get the words out as I choked on a sob. Robert pulled me in close and held me. I put my arms around him and clung to him, like Lucien had to me in Damien's hospital room. My fingers grasped at the leather of Robert's jacket. I buried my face in his shoulder and wept. In between waves of sobs I managed to tell Robert the news.

"Damien ... he's gone ... he passed away today..."

My own words echoed in my mind. Robert pulled away from our embrace partially to look me in the eyes. "Oh my god, Sammy, I'm so sorry...! What happened? How did he pass?" Robert asked, a wave of sorrow causing him to bite his lip. "A car accident... I had to make the choice... of whether or not to let him go... he only had a slim chance of survival on life support... and just... " I couldn't finish my sentence as I crumbled into another wave of tears. Robert bit his lip as a few tears streaked his own cheeks. He pulled me in close again and held me.

After crying for another good few minutes we pulled apart. He wiped away some of my stray tears with his thumbs. I looked to him. He looked to me. "Sammy, I need to tell you this. Drinking away your sorrows won't help, trust me, I know. I tried to do that when I lost my wife and then Val, and it got me nowhere. I don't want to see you end up down the same road I did. Please, Sammy. I don't want you to end up like me." Robert said, my face still in his hands. I bit my lip and felt more tears streak my cheeks. Robert embraced me again and rubbed my back, shushing me and holding me.

 

* * *

 

 

After my crying slowing, face buried in Robert's shoulder, we headed home. It had begun to get late. Robert stopped his truck in front of my house and got out, walking me to the door. "If you need help telling everyone, tell me, okay? I'll try and help you tell the cul-de-sac." he said, pulling me in for one last hug. We held each other for a moment before Robert pulled away, smiled at me lightly and walked down the driveway to his car and drove the short drive to his house. I watched him step out of his car and step inside his home. 

I forced myself inside my own home and sighed, making my way into the kitchen. I know Robert doesn't want me to do this... but I  _desperately_ craved another drink. I stopped short when I saw the cup of chamomile tea I had made this morning sitting on the counter. I remembered thinking about how it was Damien's favorite tea. I grasped the cold mug of tea in my hand and looked at my reflection in the water. I watched myself as more tears streaked down my face, hand trembling. 

A light came on that startled me. I whirled around to see Lucien, who looked just as surprised to see me as I was him. From the looks of it, he had been crying just recently, like I still am. I set the cold mug of tea down and opened my arms to him. He might as well have ran into them as he threw his arms around me. "I miss Dad so much..." he whimpered, holding onto me tightly. "I miss him too, Lucien. But we've gotta remember all the happy times with him. Think about everything you love about him and smile." I said, trying my best to comfort him. He looked up at me. "But thinking about the happy things makes me want to cry even more..." he said. "And that's okay. Sometimes the tears you shed don't have to be sorrowful. They can be joyful too. When you think of all the good times, you're taking time to appreciate Damien's life. While it does fill you with a little sorrow, it helps you feel better and start to move on." I said, rubbing his back. He nodded and contemplated my words. 

I just wished their was I way I could tell myself the same thing. "I ... needed to hear that... thank you, Sammy... I... I love you..." Lucien said, snuggling into my chest. Hearing Lucien say that made me feel even the slightest bit of happiness. I wished I could hang onto that happiness. But it was gone as quickly as it came when thoughts of telling rest of the cul-de-sac about Damien's death. I knew no one would take it lightly, and I hated having to hurt others.

 

-To be continued

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, nya'll <3 I'll be working on chapter 4 soon


	4. The Heartbroken, Sorrowful Cul-de-sac

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time that Sammy, with the help of Robert, tells the cul-de-sac. But the way they go about it is strange...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The idea I came up with on how they tell the cul-de-sac really is strange, but I like it, so I hope you all will too

The next day, I walked over to Robert's place and knocked on the door. He opened his door and invited me inside quietly. I stepped inside and pet Betsy, who immediately attacked me with kisses. I couldn't help but lightly smile at that. "Need help with telling everyone else today?" Robert asked. He already knew the answer to that question, but I still answered him anyway. "I would really like that," I said, giving Betsy a deserved belly rub. "But how do we break it to them easily?" Robert asked, sighing. I shrugged my shoulders. Robert and I were in deep thought for a good few minutes. 

"I got an idea, but it's a wild one." Robert finally said, startling me out of my thoughts. I looked to him. "We invite the cul-de-sac over to my place for a game of Two Truths, One Lie. Everyone will think your lie is that Damien passed away, when you tell them it's, it'll break the news to them." he said, putting his hands on my shoulders enthusiastically. "But would we be able to convince them to even show up?" I ask, unsure of Robert's strange and insane idea. "Oh, I'll convince them. And by convince them I mean threaten them at knife point... I'm kidding.... or am I?" he said, smirking at me. I sighed. "I'm kidding, I swear, Sammy. I'll just say it'll be a good time and promise some food and drinks and to bring the kids as well." he said, squeezing my shoulders. 

"That sounds convincing I guess, should we start calling the neighbors then?" I asked. Robert nodded. We called all the neighbors and tried our best to convince them. Nobody sounded interested but we still tried. Robert and I spent all day preparing, cleaning up and getting food and other things ready. "Let's hope this works," I said as we finished up, setting the last of the plates of food on the counter. 

I took a deep breath and swallowed. Even telling the cul-de-sac in this way would be so hard. I stared at the ground. Robert put an arm around me. "You can do this. It's better to tell everyone at once, then having to go through the pain of telling everyone one at a time." he said, pulling me close. I rested my head on his shoulder and sighed, hoping that at least most of the cul-de-sac would show up. We stayed quiet, my head on his shoulder, his arm around me, until the door bell rang, starling both of us. Robert went to the door and in came literally everyone. Even Amanda and Lucien arrived.  _How did this terrible plan work??_

We all chatted and hung out a bit, eating and laughing. At least, I tried my best to laugh. And I also had to force myself to eat. Finally the time came when we all sat down in a circle and prepared our two truths and one lie. Before we all did, I managed to sneak Amanda and Lucien what Robert and I were up to. I took in a breath. "So, who wants to go first?" I asked, looking around. Carmensita waved her hand around excitedly. "Go ahead, Carmensita," I said. The room went quiet and we all watched her.

She took a moment before she spoke. "I'm in eighth grade, I love music, and I'm 5 feet tall!" she said excitedly. We all looked around at each other. "Their's no way you're in eighth grade!" Brian said, eyeing her suspiciously. Carmensita giggled. "You got it!" she said. "I vote Sammy goes next!" I felt my face flush. I stood up. "Well, I'm not getting out of this one," I said with a fake laugh I only hoped sounded real. I thought a moment. 

"Amanda isn't actually 18 years old, she's 19; Lucien loves MCR; Damien passed away yesterday," I said, struggling to keep a straight face when the last one left my mouth. Everyone looked around at each other, then back at me. They all contemplated what I had said. A long moment of silence passed before Mary spoke up. 

"Dames isn't dead, you butt!" she said, pouting at me. I shook my head. "Wrong. The lie was Amanda. She's still 18." I watched as everyone looked at me, their faces changing from happy to sorrowful. "You're serious?" Mary asked me, looking to me. The way she looked at me made it seem like she wanted the answer to the question of life. "Damien's death is a truth. He passed away yesterday. Their was no easy to tell you all this..." I began, looking around at everyone. I swallowed hard when tears welled up in my eyes. "Choosing to leave him on life support with the slightest chance of survival or to let him go was the hardest choice I have ever had to make..." I continued, now looking down at the ground. I could feel everyone's eyes upon me. 

Robert then chimed in. "It's true. He told me last night when we went out drinking, like we usually do. Damien would have been here. Even if he were ill he would have come. We know Damien, he loves any form of entertainment. But he's not here. Just think about that for a moment." he said, giving everyone a serious look. Everyone looked to me with sympathetic and the most upset looks I've ever seen. 

"Is this why you brought us all here?" Mary asked, her voice quavering. I nodded. "It was Robert's idea. It was to get you all in one place, rather than going door to door and having to live through the pain of Damien's death longer than I want to." I said, feeling hot tears streak my cheeks. I sat back down, feeling like I could collapse from all the sorrow. "I ... I'm sorry to drop this all on you like this... but I had to let Damien go..." I choked on a sob, burying my face in my hands. "I wasn't going to let him suffer if I kept him alive..." 

* * *

 

Our short game of Two Truths, One Lie ended quickly after I gave everyone the details on his funeral and when it would be. Everyone comforted me and left one at a time, wiping away their own tears. Mary pulled me into a deep hug, clinging to me. I hugged her back, crying into her shoulder. "Sammy I... I'm so sorry..." she said, barely unable to hold back her own tears. I rubbed her back. I've never felt closer to Mary. "I really miss Dames... he's been my best friend for so long..." she said, pulling away from our hug. Before she left she said one more thing. "Damien really loved you, Sammy. He was so happy the day he told me you two had started dating, and was even happier when he said he was going to propose. You made him so happy. I thank you for that, Sammy." 

I nodded, offering her a weak but heartfelt smile. Joseph put his arm around her comfortingly and led her out of Robert's house, wiping away a few of his own tears. He would probably drink away his sorrows in Margaritaville. 

Hugo was next to approach me. I jumped lightly when he pulled me into a hug, holding me close. "I'm so sorry, Sammy. Mary was right about him though. He really beamed when he talked about you to any of us. Just know that he's smiling down at you from wherever he may be." he said, rubbing my back. Ernest also came up to me, offering me a smile. I did my best to smile back. He put a hand on my shoulder and gave me a look that spoke a thousand words. "Duchess will surely miss seeing Damien..." Ernest said, biting his lip. I remembered the day Damien and I shared our first kiss. The day we fell in love. 

Erenest took me by surprise when even he pulled me into a hug. "Thanks for breaking into our house accidentally... I love Duchess so much..." he said, keeping the hug short but meaningful. He wiped a few tears and scurried off, not wanting to show that he was crying. Hugo followed him out, patting my shoulder. "See you soon, Sammy." I nodded. 

Mat and Carmensita remained. Mat approached with open arms. I threw myself into them, grasping onto him like he was my last connection to this world. The silence between us was comforting. But when Mat broke it, it became even more comforting. "That was really brave of you to tell us all this way... I know I'm gonna miss seeing him at open mic night, sitting next to you as you smiled. I'm gonna miss seeing you happy, Sammy. I know how hard it is to lose someone you love so much and... how it feels to lose happiness. I know it sounds hard right now, but you've gotta try to be happy. I wanna see you smile again, I really do." he said, tightening his arms around me. I sighed into his shoulder. 

* * *

After everyone had said their goodbyes and went home, their walks a sad tone in them, I helped Robert clean up. Lucien and Amanda already left, but I didn't really care. Robert walked me home, and arm around me. When we arrived at my door, he pulled me in for a hug. I slowly felt myself tilt my head into his shoulder and raise my arms to wrap them around his body. "You did good, Sammy. I'm proud of you for staying as strong as you did when you told everyone." he said, stroking my back. 

I shook my head. "But I wasn't strong, Robert. I cried like a baby in front of everyone..." I said in reply, biting my lip. "And that's okay, Sammy. Crying isn't showing weakness. It's showing you care about Damien and everyone else, and that you were strong enough to tell everyone." Robert said reassuringly. I sighed and thought about what he said. Maybe he was right. I'm just glad that telling everyone was over and done with. 

We pulled apart from the hug and Robert smiled at me. "You did good today. Also, you might wanna shower up and shave. I can tell it's been a while." he said. I sniffed myself. Damn was he right.

-To be continued

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two Truths and One Lie: The alternate way to tell your friends and loved ones that your husband just died!
> 
> Anyway, I tried to end it on a happier/funnier note, even though the next chapter is Damien's funeral and Sammy beginning to learn to accept death the way Damien did.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed. I'm sorry if I made you cry eep  
> Damien is my favorite dad and I adore him so much and I wanted to try and write how my Dadsona Sammy would react to losing another husband so suddenly and quickly. 
> 
> If you liked it or want to comment please do, I'd love feed back . This is honestly one of the best works I've ever written, and I'm super proud of it aaaa


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